Security ideas for your mom part 1

So here’s the scenario:

Your mom wants to get a PC so she can get email, check out those internets and use the google. She’s heard about all the nasty stuff out there like in those commercials with the little old lady speaking with the voice of a biker. So she knows it’s a dangerous world out there on the internets and knows she must get some of that security to protect her. Of course she calls you, since you use that stuff all the time at work. Oh … and she thinks those “I’m a Mac, I’m a PC” commercials are really cute and that a Mac would be great because it doesn’t get any of those nasty viruses.

Sound familiar? Thought so. So what do you tell her? How about, “Gee mom, sounds like what you really need is a good cell phone, not a computer” or “Sure, get a Mac and then you can be stylish while getting pwned“. Problem is, you like your mom and want to help her make the right choice. Other problem is that you also like your significant other and really don’t want to commit to a full-time tech support gig.

What you’ve just encountered is the fundamental problem in personal computer security. For years Bill and Steve have been telling us that a personal computer is an appliance, just like a television or a toaster. That certainly sells lots of PCs and Macs but the problem is that, well, it’s balderdash. Hogwash. Crapola. When you purchase your first computer you discover this right away. Ahh, but not to worry – Uncle Bill (actually Uncle Steve now) has you covered. They’ll automatically push out fixes (to stuff they built wrong!) to keep you safe and secure. Okay… But wait! There’s more! There are many companies out there just dying to help you be more safe and secure who can’t wait to get their hands on your money. So before you know it that spiffy new computer you bought runs like a bloated turtle and you get to pony up annual payments for that privilege. And are you really safe and secure? Maybe. Possibly. Who knows?

So let’s go back to the original question: what is security in this context? What are the risks that your mom will face online and how does she manage them? Can you really “buy security” (or lease it per current business models) to manage these risks? Hang on there, Hoss! You just listen to Uncle Joe before you turn over any of mom’s hard-won dinero. Here is the Joe’s official in order list of security ideas for your mom.

Security Ideas for Mom

1. Think. Don’t be an idiot. The vast majority of cyber incidents that result in actual damage could have been prevented by a simple smell test. This covers a lot of territory, but basically it comes down to this – use common sense. Obvious stuff like, don’t open email attachments you weren’t expecting or can’t identify. Or if something pops up you don’t understand – find out what it is before you click on it. My friend, a computer novice, recently upgraded to get online. He had all of the stuff you are supposed to have including anti-virus software from a leading vendor (think yellow box). So he gets this browser pop-up while he’s surfing that says “Your computer is infected with a virus!!! Press this button to remove it and make your system safe!!!” So he does. And it does heinous things to his computer, including disabling his spiffy yellow AV. DOH! It’s time to put that PC out of it’s misery and start over. This ugliness could have been prevented had my friend, an otherwise intelligent person, just thought about it for a moment and asked himself one simple question: “does this seem fishy?” (the smell test!). But isn’t that a little harsh? I mean we already established that he’s a computer novice. No, actually, it’s a dandy segue into the next point.
2. Learn how to use your hardware and software. Or stated in the reverse, don’t use something you don’t understand. What I’m not suggesting here is that mom should become a hacker just so she can check email. Look at it this way: I don’t understand the complete operation of the stability control system in my Honda, but I do know that when the “TPS (Tire Pressure Sensor)” light comes on that I better check and adjust the tire pressure, and if the light doesn’t go off when I’ve done that I should take it in to my local Honda dealer. (Honda – here is an excellent sponsorship opportunity). The point is that you don’t need to be an expert, you just need to know basically how the system works and what it’s trying to tell you. In the example of my friend of #1, Had he known what to expect from his AV software when it encountered a virus, he wouldn’t have been fooled by the phony. If you don’t understand what a program does, then you almost certainly don’t need it. But wait – what about all that stuff that comes with mom’s new computer? Isn’t the point of that to take care of everything so that she doesn’t have to know anything about computers? In a word, NO! The purpose of that stuff – which is mostly crapware – is to sell you more stuff you don’t need. You think the company who manufactured your computer has your best interest at heart? See #1. And once again another dandy segue into the next point.
3. It’s your computer. You don’t have to run anything you don’t want. Mom needs to show that machine who’s boss – Yeah who’s your mama! The point here is that just because your computer came with XYZ security suite (one month trial!) and your internet service provider gives you ABC security suite (the “lite” version – but for a fee you can get the real version!) you don’t have to use either. Remember – who’s your mama! If you really want to use a security suite then do a little research (see #2) and check out the many excellent free and open source packages. Chances are you can get out of this without parting with more of your dough. But more to the point, choose your computer wisely in the first place. Most folks walk into their local electronics superstore and expect the friendly sales staff to educate them about what they should buy. Duh – see #1. Why not, instead, make the idea of computer as appliance your goal? Lets take this from the top: Mom wants to a. get email, b. surf the web, c. search for information (as translated from the earlier mom-speak). My iPhone does all that and much more. In fact my iPhone does way too much for what mom needs, so she shouldn’t spend the money. My son has a modestly priced smart phone that does everything mom needs. Both phones are totally cool and pretty easy to use and you can turn off stuff you don’t need. And both are quite a bit more like an appliance than your average PC. The idea here is that you should get something that does what you need and only what you need. Also, forget the idea that you should “buy something that you can grow with”. Balderdash. Hogwash. Crapola. Whatever you buy today is going to be landfill fodder in 5 years (actually 3 years if you depreciate it with the IRS). There is no rule that says you must be able to read email, surf the web, chat with your friends, edit photographs, make music and produce movies all on the same device. Despite what the commercials say. See #1. In fact, let me assure you as a semi-serious electronic music producer, I definitely do not want my studio machine to be surfing the web. Remember – who’s your mama! Yeah I have multiple machines. One to do email and internet-related stuff and, well, lots of others to do other stuff (I admit it – I’m a geek). But my email and internet box is old (like 8 years old!) and cheap and it does it’s one job really well. Just like a toaster. Don’t be afraid to look into a mini laptop. These babies are small, cheap and will do everything mom needs. So on to the next idea (which is really a corollary to #1). Sorry lame segue this time.
4. Your friends are clueless. Sad but true. When mom starts getting email she will no doubt have friends and relatives who think that chain letters really do bring good luck and/or prosperity and everyone they know should be alerted to the latest (to them) internet jokes and inspirational (why are angels supposed to be inspirational?) ravings. These well meaning folks will grab onto an internet hoax or urban legend and spam every one they have ever known with it. Some of these will turn out to be phishing scams, or “manual malware” (e.g. “to defeat this evil virus that no AV software can detect remove the KERNEL.SYS file“). Bottom line is, mom should seriously suspect any content she receives from these lovable – but clueless – folks. Especially when they state “you must see this adorable …” – no you must not. But just in case mom refuses to believe that Aunt Helen would ever send her something nasty. I know this guy in Nigeria who really needs to get a bunch of money out of the country and he’s willing to cut someone in if they’ll help him.

So before this post gets (even more) out of hand, notice that these first – and most important – four ideas have nothing to do with which anti virus software is best, or whether Macs are more secure than PCs. They are about common sense. Which isn’t all that common. I’ll actually get into addressing specific risks when “Security ideas for your mom” continues in another post.